Which teams made the All Time Top 10?

4 03 2016

 

Top 10

Seasoned readers of our 4 blog posts will know, the City League has been around for awhile, 7 years to be exact.  April 7, 2016 will begin our eighth year. Over that time, we have given out awards for the person that provides the crappiest beer.  For the team that wins each session.  And for individuals that have made such impact on the City League that they have been inducted into the Hall of Fame.  But one thing that has never been done is establishing the pecking order.  The best of the best.  Which team in the past 21 sessions of Sand Volleyball has been the best?

Just to expand, this isn’t about which team is the nicest?  Or who we’d rather grab a drink with.  God knows, there have been some jerks that have played in this league and they may or may not rank higher than your team.  Sorry.

With no further adieu, let me provide you with the first ever City League Top 10 teams of All Time in reverse order, a proven method of being the best way to increase dramatic effect.   We can feel the tension and anticipation building.

Honorable Mention: Spandex Dreams, Volley Llamas, and Salsa Ballers.  We will let the reader determine if they are included for positive….or….less positive reasons.

10a. Premature Spikeulation – 0 Championships Okay, so they don’t win a ton of games, or any, but they’ve been around for a long time. And that’s worth something, right? Premature Spikeulation could be compared to that old uncle you have that hasn’t exactly made the most of his life, but he has a big mouth and utters inappropriate comments so often, he demands attention.  They have had various names, generally all slightly perverse.  If we could share the team names they requested that we had to reject, you might lose what little respect you have for Al, Mike and Amy.  Primarily, Al.  Their consistency and their propensity for drinking vaults them into our Top 10…..barely.

10b. Sandy Clams/Kiss My Sandy Clams – 0 Championships  Another team that has as many championships as Ben Carson has delegates (This is a joke. At the time of writing this Ben Carson had 8 delegates, incrementally more than Sandy Clams titles) After years of failing to win the playoffs, they had a drastic idea. “Hey, what if we put together the first ever All Women’s Team?”  Would that help us win?  The answer, so far, has been “No.”  So when you look at overall championships, yes, they are lacking.  But they make up for that with dogs.  Yes, dogs.  This team is solely responsible for making The City League a dog friendly league.  We don’t keep statistics on this, but unofficially, each member of this team owns 1.8 dogs.  And that commitment to canines helps Meg, Stef, Jen, and Kaleigh inch their way into this list.  Plus, they’ve probably won 90% of the Crappy Beer Provider trophies.

9. Off Constantly – 1 Championship (Fall 2009)One of the original teams in this league, the Charlie Sellberg led unit has changed, evolved and continued drinking Miller Lite, proclaiming it to be the best beer around. In fact, we think they may query members on this prior to acceptance.  Many of the 2009 team members have moved on.  Alex Filandrinos, Dan McKernan, Katie Loida, Kadi Kerr & Stacey Sellberg no longer play. Now some might look at their track record, playing in 19 sessions and only winning one championship, as a below average performance.  But when you realize that this is a team that has routinely lacked even one person that can spike and that their team leader wears shoes in the sand, you take what you can get.  All of a sudden, winning a championship in 5.3% of your seasons seems pretty reasonable. And their incredibly inappropriate team photo from the Fall 0f 2009 is more than enough reason for their placement on this list.

Fall 2009 ChampsOff Constantly

Off Constantly – Fall 2009

8. Call Your Balls – 1 Championship (Fall 2011) Founder Chad Rapp, has utilized his various networking capabilities to put together a team, time after time after time.  Chad even uses the City League as a way to recruit for other leagues.  His winning team in the Fall of 2011 took advantage of two 6’3+ players.  This potpourri of a team also featured Andy Cotton, who is now too busy playing indoor volleyball to waste his time with The City League.   Since their championship, Call Your Balls has evolved and sporadically plays in the league.  When they can’t, we still have Chad reffing, conversing and mingling with all of the players.

Late Summer 2011 ChampsCall Your Balls

Call Your Balls – Fall 2011

7. Kiss My Pass – 1 Championship (Spring 2014) Before there was Harrison Heitzig, the new born son of Neal and Ellen, there was Dainty, there was Stef, there was Kaleigh and there was Kevin.  Kevin would ride in on his motorcycle.  Obviously, the intimidation of the motorcycle was a ploy to get into the oppositions head.  But they didn’t stop there.  This team also felt that shirts were unnecessary.  Kevin & Neal signed a pact in 2012 that they would never wear shirts again.  And Neal promised to spike his first three directly into the net. That pact has been honored without fail.  Dainty half-assed his way into the pact and promised not to wear sleeves…..or spike.  This lack of clothing may have been the reason this team eventually dissolved.  Kaleigh and Stef decided they couldn’t be around the male nudity (Ellen married Neal to get more of it), or the spikes directly into the net, and they helped form the female super team, Kiss My Sandy Clams.  Whether or not this one time champion will ever return is up in the air.

Spring 2014 ChampsKiss My Pass

Kiss My Pass – Spring 2014

6. The Sandy V’s – 2 Championships (Spring 2009, Summer 2009) The first champion of the league.  Led by Jerrod Nash, Chris Hawkins and “Sniper,” our first champion and our first back-to-back champion set the gold standard of excellence.  Later returns to the league would prove to not be as fruitful, as they inched into the playoffs, but could never recapture the glory of previous seasons.  Plus, being the first to utilize their trophies to simulate testicles a feat that hasn’t been repeated since.  Truly originals, in every sense of the word.

Summer 2009 ChampsThe Sandy V's

The Sandy V’s – Summer 2009

5. Hit It Hard – 2 Championships (Spring 2010, Summer 2010) As an example of how incestuous the league has been, three familiar names pop up again. Neal Heitzig, Ellen Heitzig and Stefanie Bishop have gotten around the City League like Cale Prokopf got around Kansas City in his younger days.  But what specifically about this team led them to win two championships?  It’s simple.  Two supreme athletes.  Two supreme competitors. Captain America and Evan “Salsa” Shuvo.  The Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen of this back-to-back dominance.  Who can forget Captain America’s faithful wife joining him to cheer him on for every game?  And “Salsa” had fans that brought blankets.  Blankets to warm their legs and blankets to cover extracurricular activities. Fan support can go a long way.

Spring 2010 ChampsHit It Hard

Hit It Hard – Spring 2010

4. AceHoles – 2 Championships (Spring 2015, Fall 2015)  Lauren Hesser formed this super team in 2015 to make a triumphant return to The City League.  With help from Katie McKitrick, Josh Haffner and Big Mitch, this team won 67% of the 2015 championships.  As the returning champions, it is yet to be seen if they can join the ranks of three time champions.  Something that has only been accomplished two other times.  Despite the incredible pressure of defending their title, Hesser remained confident when asked. “I don’t think there is one team that comes even close to our athleticism, our volleyball skill level and our ability to drink beer.  We have that trifecta and we will soon have the three-peat.  Hell, we may have a five peat by the time 2016 is over.”

 

Late Summer 2015 ChampsAce Holes

AceHoles – Fall 2015  

3. All Spiked Up – 3 Championships (Fall 2010, Spring 2011, Summer 2011) Philippe Royall, Anne Royall, Nick Harris, Laura Harris, Lauren Hesser and Johnny became the first team to win three straight championships.  Exploding onto the scene, this team put together sound sand volleyball and strategic use of Johnny’s large, gold necklaces to blind and overwhelm other teams. Despite the fact that Felipe once got his tooth chipped by a spike from a former SLU volleyball player, they dominated during this brief time in history.  When approached for comment about their 2010/2011 win, we are reminded of two things by Nick Harris, “Georgia has always been a horrible football school and we would have won more, if we wanted to.”

Fall 2010 ChampsAll Spiked Up!

All Spiked Up – Spring 2011

2. Beaches Be Crazy – 3 Championships (Summer 2013, Fall 2013, Fall 2014) Despite taking a few sessions off after win back to back titles, Beaches Be Crazy was able to knock off the rust and return to claim the Fall 2014 title.  Organized and led by Brad and Claire Grimes, plus the really tall blonde guy and the shorter brown haired guy, The City League realized that we should have done a better job getting to know this team.  But what we will all remember them for was their intensity and their attempts to stay sober through the Championship Game (surprisingly, an advantage).

Late Summer 2014 ChampsBeaches Be Crazy

Beaches Be Crazy – Fall 2014

1.You Got Served – 6 Championships (Spring 2012, Summer 2012, Fall 2012, Spring 2013, Summer 2014, Summer 2015) Sometimes, dominance isn’t realized.  Sometimes, dominance comes in the shape of guys under 6 foot.  Sometimes, dominance comes in the form of taking the hardest swing you can at the ball.  While they are number one on our list, they are also number one in terms of balls that have been spiked down the hill.  Both prestigious records. As this list was compiled, it was assumed that You Got Served would fall somewhere near the top.  Upon doing some research, it was eye opening to reveal that nobody else was even close to their success.  You Got Served doubled the championship totals of the second place team.  With six titles, the Chicago Bulls shorts worn to every game make a little more sense.  TJ Brandel, Kyle Brandel, Connor Sexton, Shannon Kelley and Anne Schrupp, as well as other moving parts, have all been a part of this dynasty.  Winning in 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015, the only question is will they be able to win in 2016 too? And whose turn is it to grab the ball?  That last one ended up on the playground.

 

Summer 2014 ChampsYou Got Served

You Got Served -Summer 2014

UPDATE:  Since this blog post went public, two people have texted to complain.  Al Bias of Premature Spikeulation felt that his team should have ranked higher on the list.  His contention was “We got 2nd place one time.”  Spoken like a true winner!  And Aaron McMurry of the Sandy V’s texted demanding, and this is a direct quote, “I demand an editorial note proclaiming my greatness on the sand volleyball court and anchor/founding member of the Sandy V’s.”  It is true, at one point they were pretty good.  Then his team became mediocre.  Then they became bad.  Then they quit playing.

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