So it has been awhile……

12 04 2013

Hourglass

Where has the time gone?  It seems like just yesterday we were sitting down to write a blog for The City League.  It was our second blog ever and we were quickly gathering some steam.  At that time, 15 people had read the words we spent an hour putting on the world wide web.  It was too good to last.  That kind of readership comes with immense pressure….and well, we failed.  We cracked from the pressure and fell off the blogging cliff to not be heard from again……until today.  With a new enthusiasm, at least for today, and the desire to recap what has happened since our last blog, The City League blog, quite possibly the city-est blog ever created, is back.  (INSERT APPLAUSE)

Since it has been so long, we felt it was only fair to look at the statistics since the last blog.

Last Blog Date:  June 1, 2010

Days since last blog:  1,043

Hours since last blog:  25,032

Minutes since last blog:  1,501,920

Games Played in the City League Sand Volleyball since last blog:  590

As Tiger Wood struggled with infidelity, losing his wife, and too many putts, since our last post, we too have struggled to consistently recap the games and the Thursday nights that define your lives.

With that being said, please let us provide a quick recap of The City League champions since our last blog three years ago.

Summer 2010:

League Champion: Hit It Hard

Fall 2010:

League Champion: All Spiked Up

Spring 2011:

League Champion:  All Spiked Up

Crappy Beer Champion:  Megan Mercer

Summer 2011:

League Champion: All Spiked Up

Crappy Beer Champion:  It’s Just a Game Focker

Fall 2011:

League Champion: Call Your Balls

Crappy Beer Champion:  Allison Mattingly

Spring 2012:

League Champion: You Got Served

Crappy Beer Champion:  Jennifer Ogden

Summer 2012:

League Champion: You Got Served

Crappy Beer Champion:  Paul Stuart

Fall 2012: 

League Champion: You Got Served

OTHER RANDOM EVENTS OF NOTE SINCE JUNE 1, 2010:

– Co-founder, Cale Prokopf, finished his degree, showed up to three games during the past three years, fell in love, got engaged, won The City League bowling championship in 2011 (no conflict of interest there), bought a truck, moved to Kirkwood, and plans to occasionally grace up with his presence this year.

– The much cooler Co-founder, Michael Burger, moved 29 times, including a homeless stint, drives a Toyota Camry (because it gets qualify gas mileage and the Kelley Blue book stated it had a great resale value), got engaged, then married, bought a house, became a slumlord, got a weird looking dog from the Humane Society (Half Yellow Lab, Half French Bulldog), and just moved halfway ar0und the country to O’Fallon, MO.  He plans to take a flight into St. Louis to attend some of the games this year.  He will try to bring his newborn son, due July 26 to some of the games later this summer.

– Star referee, Michelle Wood, has braved the weather, people complaining about calls and 7 crappy beer parties, entering her third year with the City League.  She works way too much, is way too nice and if you give her problems, Al Bias and his gang of scoundrels will probably hurt you.

– DJ 2002, David Gajewski, is still cranking out the hits every week.  His specialty, 2002, with hits like “Hot in Herre” by Nelly, “Girlfriend” by NSync and anything off the Nickelback albums.  Don’t ask him about his external hard drive, holding over 20,000 songs, which he unintentionally dropped and ruined while DJing at The City League.  DJ 2002 is responsible for setting the ambiance for The City League.  And on any night it can vary from Boy Band to Heavy Metal.  Keep your fingers crossed for Britney Spears Night!

– Please help us in wishing Paul Stuart best of luck as he wraps up his time here in St. Louis.  Moving to San Diego shortly, we are confident he will find another microbrewery that he likes and another sand volleyball  league as great as ours.

And because segues are silly and overrated, let us wrap this blog up with a Lifetime Achievement Awards to celebrate our 5th year.

TEAM AWARDS:

1996-1998 Chicago Bulls Award for Greatest Team:  You Got Served.  In a close contest, You Got Served pulled out the victory over previous three time winner, All Spiked Up, based on two very important factors.  1.  You Got Served still has a chance to win their 4th consecutive championship.  2.  They weren’t babies and didn’t quit after winning their trifector because they had achieved all they could.

Dennis Rodman Award for Life of the Party:  In another close contest, The Sandy Clams, our social ambassadors for the previous four seasons barely nipped Premature Spikeulation.  This award is based on amount of alcohol consumed and how much fun your team is to be around.  It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the amount of times you have slept with Carmen Electra, how many times you are pierced or how financially bankrupt you may now be.

New York Yankees Award for Roster Shakeups:  Call Your Balls, captained by Chad Rapp, has been part of the league for all five years now.  Yet with the exception of a couple of players, his team looks incredibly different every single year.  We think it has to do with Chad’s ability to play good volleyball players exorbitant contracts to play on his team.  The George Steinbrenner of The City League, Chad consistently fields a team of high paid specialists and has one championship to show for it.

Utah Jazz Award for Consistency & Lack of Diversity:  Off Constantly.  Playing in 13 sand volleyball seasons since the league’s inception, they have been the John Stockton’s of the league.  Reliable, consistently in the playoffs, fundamentally sound and incredibly white.   But hey, John Stockton is in the Hall of Fame, and so is Off Constantly, now.

Howard Stern Award for Most Foul Mouthed Team:  In a shocking surprise, the award goes to Premature Spikeulation.  Generally, the part of Howard Stern is played by Al, with Jake, Mike and Amy serving as Gary, Fred and Robin, trying to keep him under control.  However, the FCC has no jurisdiction over The City League, so the team continues it’s foul mouthed ways.  SIDENOTE:  This is the only team to effectively have a sister of another player QUIT the team, because she was verbally abused so badly.

Clay Aiken Award for Dainty Play:  In a landslide, Kiss My Pass, took this award, blew a kiss to the crowd and skipped off the stage with a long flowery dress flowing in the back.  Known for starting off incredibly slow and flimsy, but by the end of the game and the season, this flamboyant diva of a team will most likely put together another strong run in the playoffs.

Muggsy Bogues Award for Over Achieving:  Spandex Dreams…the Remix.  Another team that has been around for some time, they will have 5 spikes or less a year.  However, led by their heartthrob, Trevor Anderson, their burly Incredible Hulk, Brandon Nienaber, and their wily sniper, Andrew Nelch, the team consistently finds a way to win.  And they do all of this clad in spandex, as if they were sponsored by Under Armour.

Derek Zoolander Award for Team Modeling Experience: #hashtag. Currently on the roster, they feature five part time models.  Between serves, you can catch them flashing Blue Steel for the opposite team.  Apparently, their athleticism or their high cheek bones, have an effect on the opposition, because over the past four seasons, they have sported the second best record, falling just short in the playoffs.

To all of the new teams, don’t worry, we will find a way to make fun of you in a friendly manner before the season is up.

Thanks to everyone for making it out last night.  The weather was horrible, the sand was freezing and we made it through.  We feel like we all gained a little bit.  Unless you have frostbite and lost a toe.  In that case, you might utilize the cliche,”What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Based on our previous pace, please mark June 1, 2017 as the next blog update!  Have a great weekend and we will see you next Thursday!

-The City League

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One response

12 04 2013
Cale Prokopf

I couldn’t have said it any better….mainly because I am horrible at explaining my self through written word! Good post and keep them coming.

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