-  ”Ray Allen has made 20 of his last 20 free throws.”

-  ”Adam Vinatieri has connected on 45 of his last 45 field goal attempts.”

-  ”Hey, Adam Wainwright, did you know you have a no-hitter going through 5 innings?”

-  ”I never get pulled over by cops for speeding.”

-  ”No seed other than a #1 seed has ever won The City League Championship.”

What are all of these sayings above?  They are the beginning of a jinx.  We have all been there.  It is inevitable.  As soon as you mention a pattern that has been developed and assume that pattern will continue, you have jinxed it.  With that being said, I take the blame for the #1 seeded, Call Your Balls, becoming the first team in the history of The City League to not win our post-season tournament.  Did I know better than to claim that no #1 seed had ever lost the tournament?  Sure, I did.  However, the  2 cans of Sparks, the Ice Brewed Camo Black Ice High Gravity Lager and the potpourri of other assorted beverages had obviously gotten the best of me.  I was the black cat crossing their path and I ruined the undefeated season for Call Your Balls

However, some credit does go to the winning team, Hit It Hard, their cheerleaders (aka:  The Sandy Clams) and their crowd of 15-20 they brought with them to watch this historic victory.  Salsa, Olga, Captain America, the Assassin, Whitey and Goose won 2-0, claiming their first ever City League Championship and the gold trophies which accompany the win.   But even though Hit It Hard walked away with the trophies, the night proved to us at The City League, that there are plenty of winners in this league and we wanted to take a minute to recognize some of them.

WINNER OF THE “JOHN DALY DRINKING IN EXCESS AWARD”

For the first time in the history of all man kind (actually, just the first time in The City League) all of the “crappy” beer that was brought to the championships Crappy Beer Party, including the aforementioned Ice Brewed Camo Black High Gravity Lager, the year old skunky beer provided by The City League and the appearance of Bavaria, winner of the 2010 Worst Beer Ever Tasted was consumed, leaving us with an empty trash can.  For those who helped us drink ALL OF THAT CRAPPY BEER, we tip our cap to you and award you this distinction.  I hope that once you sobered up, you didn’t go out in plaid pants like the real John Daly did.

WINNER OF THE “PETE ROSE’S GAMBLING DOESN’T PAY AWARD”

The team formerly known as the Sloppy Sets will now be referred to as the Sloppy Joes.  The wager made by Poohman, on behalf on his entire team, was that they would officially change their name for the Summer Session if they failed to make the Final Four.  With their loss to You Got Served, their fate was sealed.   The Sloppy Joes have mentioned that they are excited to return for their 5th straight season despite the name change.  The City League discussed a lifetime ban, but decided against it.

WINNER OF THE “KENDRICK PERKINS’ I’M SO ANGRY AT THE WORLD AWARD”

Brandon of You Got Served came to the tournament prepared for Sub-Arctic temperatures.   Dressed in an Underarmour shirt, shorts, and ladies tights, the inappropriate attire seemed to fuel Brandon’s temper.  After losing their Second Round game to Call Your Balls, Brandon was seen near the water fountain actually turning into the Incredible Hulk.  If it wouldn’t have been for Alex Filandrinos of Off Constantly talking him down from the ledge it could have gotten ugly.  The moral of the story is this:  DON’T WEAR TIGHTS WHEN IT IS 60 DEGREES OUTSIDE.  PEOPLE WILL MAKE FUN OF YOU AND IT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY.

WINNER OF THE “TIGER WOODS’ REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE ON TOP AWARD”

As the Final Four match-up between C&B’s Unnatural Love and Hit It Hard progressed, the arrogance, the entitlement, and the promise of returning to glory seemed to fade simultaneously from C&B’s Unnatural Love faces.  I bought in to the claims that they would win again ventured by Jerrod Nash.   I also bought into the claims from those who picked Tiger Woods to win the Masters.  Call me a sucker.

WINNER OF THE “CRYSTAL BOWERSOX IT’S NOT BAD BEING #2 AWARD:

Lee Dewyze captured the 9th season of American Idol last Wednesday, surprising and upsetting Crystal Bowersox (SIDENOTE:  This cost me $55 in our KTVI FOX 2 work pool so I’m more than a little bitter).  However, after losing, Crystal seemed happy for her friend Lee winning.  After losing the final game of The City League Spring Championship, Call Your Balls put on a happy face, pulled out two bottles of champagne and celebrated into the late hours, as if they had won.   The fact that they had champagne means they either assumed they were going to win OR they play for fun and are good sports regardless the outcome.  We give them the benefit of the doubt that it was the latter reason.

In summary, no matter who won and who lost, we strive to make sure that everyone has a great time in The City League.  This Thursday, June 3rd, we launch our 5th season and our largest by far with 16 teams.  We hope everyone coming back has just as great of a time and we hope that all the new teams meet new friends, have just as good of a time and strive to win your own awards after this session!  I am positive that there is NO WAY it won’t be great.   I hope that I didn’t just jinx that too!

Can you believe that almost 4 FULL sessions of The City League have gone by already?  What is that you say?  You would love to hear the story of how The City League began?  Well, gather around children for a tale I will tell. 

It seems like just yesterday when Cale & I sat down at a little place called Michael’s Bar & Grill on Manchester for lunch…..all the way back in 2009.  I remember it vividly.  I had ordered the “Michael Burger,” which they are apparently famous for. (I had hoped they would comment at the end of the meal when I proudly displayed my Michael Burger debit card.  NOTE TO EMPLOYEES OF MICHAEL’S BAR & GRILL:  If anyone ever orders the “Michael Burger” please check their Debit Card.  See if the name happens to match the item they just ordered.  I have ordered that amazing item at least 10 times.  Yet, zero times has anyone noticed the irony in me ordering my own name.  It is quite disappointing every single time.)   Cale ordered something else.  I am sure it was delicious too.   I think I wore a shirt and pants, but I can’t really remember.   And I think that we might have set towards the front of the restaurant, but I can’t really remember that either.  Listen, the details aren’t important!  From time to time friends do this.  We meet, we talk, we consume food.  The chewing of the food and the slurping of the drink gives friends time to come up with their next witty line or the next story to share.  In this case, the chewing & drinking gave us time to create the idea for a recreational sports league that ensured two things:

1.  Cases of Sparks would be consumed.  For those of you who haven’t had the distinct pleasure of trying Sparks, it is the equivalent of mixing a Red Bull with Mickey’s and throwing in a sleeve of Sweet Tarts.  Just try it! 

2.    Sand Volleyball would be fun again!  Who else throws a “Crappy Beer Party” at the end of each session?  Seriously….name me one other league that encourages you to bring the worst beer you have ever tasted and play the beer lottery.    And if they do, they copied us and they’re cheaters.  In all reality, I stole this concept from some old college buddies of mine.  But it still makes Sand Volleyball even more fun/intoxicating than ever before!

SIDENOTE:  Since most of you have never have never wasted time reading words that I have written before….and probably won’t waste time again, you had no way of knowing that I often times stray from the topic I was covering.  This is just a warning that it happens often.  In all reality, it will probably be easier to make out the Half English/Half Chinese Fortunes that you get at Pei Wei, (ie.  “You Like Food Good.”), than it will be to read this blog.

Back to 2009.  As Cale and I sat there, we wanted to create a place where people could meet new friends, interact with people of the same age and still have a great time in a competitive setting.  We had no idea that people like The Sandy V’s (temporarily known as C&B’s Unnatural Love) would make this task so difficult.  I could list reasons people don’t like them, but it isn’t necessary.  Everyone who has ever set foot in Shaw Park has muttered under their breath, “I hate those guys.”  But every league needs a villain.  Every league needs someone to top.  For the first two sessions (Spring 2009; Summer 2009) the Sandy V’s were undefeated.  They were good…..and they knew it.  But just like the Bulls crumbled when Jordan retired (both times), the Sandy V’s road to success was thwarted in the Fall 2009 session when “Sniper”  (aka Jordan) was unable to return.  Nash (aka  Toni Kukoc), Murry (aka Scottie Pippen) and Hawkins (aka…..I don’t know, maybe Steve Kerr….but Steve Kerr was taller than 5’6″…..oh well, for this story, we will call him Steve Kerr) were unable to handle the pressure of living without their Jordan and failed to join that session.  Other teams stepped in to take their place.  The up and coming Off Constantly (no pun intended….seriously!) took the Championship in the Fall of 2009.  As we approach our Spring 2010 Championship, the Jordan-less Bulls look to take back what was once theirs.  It won’t be easy though.  Teams like Call Your Balls, Hit It Hard and the Volley Lamas stand poised to make a run for The City League Golden Trophies!

You see, this is what Cale and I wanted.  Storylines, heroes and villains, and an unlimited supply of NBA analogies.  This is what we discussed that day at Michael’s Bar & Grill.  Thanks to every team this session for making Thursday nights so much fun!  We are looking forward to this Thursday night, when a Spring 2010 Champion will be crowned and fun will be had by all.   Bring the worst beer you can find.  Sure, PBR Light is cheap and amazing, but is it REALLY the best you can find?  We challenge you to do your best and bring your game, bring your 6 packs of horrible beer and bring your friends for The City League 2010 Spring Championship/Crappy Beer Party at Shaw Park!

Close your eyes, reach down deep and pull out that Dirt Cheap your taste buds have been crying out for!  See you Thursday!